Roller Coaster

Wow!! It's been two years since I've posted on this blog! Facebook has truly taken over this space! Well...sadly and happily not much has changed in my life. Still have the same job, same car, same friends, etc. I did move!! :)

Well I had a great experience that could only be related on an outlet like a blog, so I decided to update and might do more in the future! A few weeks ago I went to Six Flags with some friends. We had an awesome time!! I mean a REALLLY awesome time!!! :) It was my BEST experience yet to that amusement park! For real!! :) We all rode each ride together...we did the whole day together.

As the day was ending we wanted to get in the last few hours of fun!! :) Some of those with us wanted to get on the Raging Bull. I did NOT want to get on the Raging Bull! Years ago, after riding when it first opened, I purposed never to ride it again!! Now, I am not really a scary type person, I like fun and adventure. I LOVE the Giant Drop ride (this is the one that drops your from 200 feet in the air at a free fall). I want to go sky diving one day soon. I am usually up for any excitement. But...not the Raging Bull. Now my excuse was that it didn't have a harness, it just had a lap restraint, and for me, THAT was NOT good enough!! Not good enough for that first steep drop (202 feet)...no sirre bob!! LOL!!

Well, in favor of the group, being the team player I am, I, yes I, gave into the peer pressure and agreed to ride the ride. I made my decision and when we got to the ride, the line was REALLY long, so the group decided to go on another ride. Ha, I was relieved!! I agreed and it worked out we won't ride it...fine with me! After we finished the other ride, it was decided that we stick with the wait and ride the horrendous RAGING BULL!! Well, I had given my word and I was going to keep it. All through the line, I was gearing up my mind for the impending horror. I was in the line, I had given my word, I was going to ride this ride. I focused on the end of the ride, the ending corral, I mean, it was only 2-3 minutes. No one had ever died on the ride yet...I mean, really! I kept my mind on the "afterward" the promise of food, the drive home, the work I had to complete when I got home, the next day, etc. I was quiet most of the line wait...ha!!

Well, our turn came. I was to ride with two others in our group, Dana and Nick. I wanted to get it over with so we ended up in a different coaster train than our remaining three friends. Dana was almost as scary as me about this ride, but somehow, she had gained some courage and agreed with Nick to ride the ride with *[horrific gasp]* their eyes open and their hands up!! I calmly reminded them that I was just gonna make it through the ride & not holding on with my eyes open were NOT an option. Ha!

So we started our assent up the coaster. I felt us getting higher and higher, I knew the drop would be soon, but I didn't want to see it coming. I knew I was going to have to face it but didn't want my horrific anticipation building. I listened as Dana made sounds of concern the closer we got to the top of our assent. I knew the drop was near. It came, we dropped. Somewhere in the middle of the drop I let myself feel the excitement of it all (with my eyes still closed and still holding on for dear life, mind you). I let myself feel the fall, the feeling like we were letting gravity take its toll, never to be recovered. As we were falling, something reminded me, the fall would soon be over; it would not be to my demise. And...do you know what?!! We did recover!! The ride continued with its twists and turns, ups and downs, sideways and drops. Somewhere along the way, I opened my eyes and let go, just for a little bit. :) I saw the next drop approaching and again held on for dear life and closed my eyes, for good measure. By the end of the ride I had my eyes open and my hands in the air. I was sooo inspired by that ride...uhhh yeah, it was from the adrenalin rush at first...but I got my part!! I was SOO GLAD I let me friends talk me into getting on that ride! LOL! I got a spiritual connotation from it...let me share.

I feel like that's the way it is with God. After a "failed" experience or from fear to even try in the first place, WE rule out things God is asking us to do. We feel that WE are not adequate enough to fulfill His will. (Just like I didn't think the safety constraints were sufficient) We are afraid of the failure, afraid to try again, afraid to take the step of faith. But all God wants us to do is listen to Him and take that first step of faith. Just agree to do it (submit my will), just get in the line (take that step of faith). There always is a period of preparation, during that time, thoughts of doubt will come, How will it turn out? Will I fail again? Will I succeed? Will I survive? Will it be worth it? Just look to the other side of obedience, blessings manifold!! You've committed to God, He will bring you through.

Eventually we will get to the end part of fulfilling God's purpose. Remember, God does not lie, He is tried and proven. We WILL come out alive (spiritually), His promises never fail! No one has ever lost obeying God! There will be ups (major good times, times of happiness, job and gladness), there will be downs (times of confusion, pain and suffering) - but not to the point of death (spiritually), we will recover!! I can choose to fully enjoy the ride or I can count down the seconds until it's over, either way, I'll come out alive. God's got me! Am I too afraid to enjoy the ride? How about the curves, twists and turns? Do I focus so much on the end that I don't enjoy the NOW? The route has been tried and proven. God won't let me lose. The proper safety constraints are in place (The Word, Holy Spirit, Godly counsel), and I have no need to fear.

  The sad thing is that I would've MISSED such a GREAT experience had I decided NOT to get on the ride. I might've lived the next 10-20-30 years of my life reminding myself of the one time I got on the ride and didn't like it (failed). That one bad experience.  Now, I've gotten over that fear, now I want to get on the ride again and maybe even the first row, with my eyes open and my hands up!! LOL!

Lord, please help me not to miss out one the plans you have for me because of past failures, past fears or past negative associations with things, people or situations. Lord, help me to obey You with an un-harnessed abandonment - knowing that, if You are leading me to do it, You've got my best interest at heart. God's Got IT!! - Excerpts taken from my personal journal - Aug 6, 2012

Jer. 29:11 - For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. - KJV

I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. - The Message

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. - NLT

For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome. - Amplified

I am living the best years of my life

God, I believe, blessed me with that thought on Sunday. I am truly living THE BEST years of my life. Is everything just perfect, is everything EXACTLY the way I want it, is my life where I thought it would be? NO. But I know I am living the best years of my life, right now. I am learning to live in and love the present; life is each day that we live, it is today, not ten years ago or five years in the future. Life is what is happening to me now, not what I am hoping for in the next five or ten years. Life is definitely what I make it, if I don’t like it, I need to make some changes. They might not happen over night, and there are some things we cannot control, but if, at the least, I can always change my attitude toward my life, it will be better. That is one main lesson I have learned THIS year. I can be “livin’ the best of life” or I can live in regret, every day of my life, for the rest of my life.

One of the best changes I made with my life was to give it to the One who has it all in control, the One who loves me (so much) and is concerned about where I am headed. The One who sacrificed HIS LIFE, so I could REALLY live and enjoy mine! (John 10:10) A change into Jesus Christ, that is making a change for the best. I’ve learned a lot with Him and we have been through some rough times, but it has been all good and I love Him a whole lot more than I did ten years ago.

So on my 28th birthday, I know I am in the best years of my life despite:
o Bad decisions I have made in my past
o Situations I wish I could do over
o My current circumstances that I wished I could’ve changed yesterday
o Some painful mistakes and choices
o The dreams and goals for my life that have yet to be fulfilled
o Opportunities lost
o Experiences gained

I have some great things going on in my life:
o Immediate (my mom, dad and sis) and extended family that love me and want what is best for me (even though we may not spend time with each other, as often as we would like)
o A really awesome group of friends that inspire and encourage me to do well and please God (love ya’ll!)
o A church community and fellowship (they are doing some great things and I love to be around them!)
o A job (it pays my bills (needs) – and some of my wants…PTL) my boss and the people are great!! (For my b-day somebody (I think my boss – or hers – still don’t know who) got cupcakes for me and everyone signed a card…they don’t normally do that…I am so thankful!!)
o A reliable car (ahh…the freedom)
o Strength for today (to do what I need to do)
o Hope for tomorrow (I’ve got some exciting plans for my life -- LW!)
o Clothes and food (oh yeah…LOL!!)
o A desire to please God in every aspect of my life and power to live free from sin, everyday (only by the grace of God…)
o Opportunity to be around young people (teens) who challenge and help me fulfill God’s plan for my life (you ALL are just GREAT, I love you all - thanks!)

LW, I hope to continue to keep this mindset, and five years from now, will still be able to say – “I’m living the best years of my life.”

PRESIDENT ELECT

Isn't this ABSOLUTELY beautiful!! I LOVE IT!! WOW...I feel like I am in a dream...who would have thought I would have seen THIS day!! I LOVE IT!!

Lets continue to keep the family in our prayers...

Two Weeks...

In two weeks (Lordwilling) I will be completing a major milestone in my life. Eight years ago I started toward this goal but have taken many breaks in between on my way to achieving it (it ussually only takes 2 years) I truely thank God for helping me get to where I am today. My main desire has been to keep God first and keep my eyes on the REAL prize. God has been good and faithful to me. Many times it seemed overwhelming but God remained to be my stay. PRAISE GOD!!

I will keep you posted...keep me in your prayers!!

Have I really done that?!?

Or maybe it should be "have I really NOT done that", I've only updated once a month since Oct or Nov. That is sad...

Well count this as an update.

For those who don't see me on a weekly basis...yet saved and encouraged with a desire to please God in everyway! That's my goal in 2007 - Please God in everyway. Not that I haven't been doing it before but that will be the focus...like the song Ayiesha Woods sings "What Matters Most"

You ask me where does my joy lie
I tell you in all that I do for Christ
You want to know how I am fulfilled
I tell you in doing my Father's will
You think it strange when I tell you
That it's what I live for and die if I have to
There's nothing more satisfying than knowing I'm pleasing
The One who matters most

Your will is planned 'til the end of time
How I fit in only You define
The meaning for my existence
I can't deny You - no room for resistance, no
The only One who makes sense of it all
Still trying to understand why my name You've called
But I'm created to praise You
It's what I'm made for and it's what I'll do

Been busy with some specific goals but despite all that, pleasing HIM is what matters most! God has continually proven to be my strength through it all!

I had a GREAT time with "the girls" a couple of weeks ago. Great to spend time with all of them!

Yet Saved and Encouraged...

I was reading my post from the 30th...It sounded like I was down and out...that Sunday service was a blessing, just to see how God can work so that there "be NO division among us". The saints manifesting unity ALWAYS is a blessing to me!!

I am yet saved and encouraged...living a consistent life over sin, PRAISE GOD. God has really been showing himself strong to me. These past couple of years have been some of the "hardest" trials of my faith. Praise God my faith in Him yet holds strong! (And nothing of my "natural" circumstances has changed for me to say this...I have grown MUCH in HIM)

Pastor Lloyd (COG pastor - Sharon, TN) held a revival for us last week. WOW, WOW, WOW! God spoke to me through EACH message! GOD is SO real He is so there when I need Him the most.

Thank you Lord!

Nouns (People, Places and Things) I love...

1. Jesus - my savior and my Lord, what a wonderful relationship to have
2. My family - natural and church
3. My friends - most of them fit somewhere in the category above...but for those who don't
4. meeting & getting to know new people (and even not so new people...LOL)
5. Pizza - hot is nice...but a cold pizza sandwich (piece of pizza with lettuce folded in between) nothing can compare... you ought to try it!
6. Ice Cream - cookie dough or sandwiched between two chocolate chip cookies...yummm!
7. Salad (made right...with a mixture of green lettuces [not iceberg])
8. Pictures - I love them!! They capture precious moments...
9. Warm & Sunny days (Summer) - the best days -- I love to sit in the sun!
10. Travelling - it is exhilarating and exciting to see new places and people...oh the adventure...
11. Weekends - those two special days of break from the normal weekly routine
12. Prayer - "O needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer"...such a privilege to talk to God all day long...
13. Weddings - they are just lovely...

SPOILED?

“I don’t think I’m spoiled!…hmmm, but I do remember that time when I was 10…”

Being the youngest (of only two of us), that has been a comment of mine. I was thinking about this in this thought. God does not raise any spiritually spoiled saints. We usually don’t get what WE want when WE want it. And he expects us to have a good attitude about it in the process. According to the dictionary here is what spoiled means:

Spoiled – (WordNEt – online dictionary)
adjective
1. having the character or disposition harmed by pampering or over solicitous attention; "a spoiled child"

I like this definition better:

Spoiled – (Webster’s New World Dictionary)
To let a person have his own way so much that he demands or expects it


I started thinking, Lord, I don’t want to act like a spoiled brat with you. So God doesn’t move in the ways I’ve thought he would, he doesn’t answer prayer specifically like I thought he would. It seems like everything I want (all my desires), he does the opposite. God allows/ordains certain things to happen in a saint’s life, it is according to His will and to this we must submit.

But how am I submitting to it? How do I react when these things happen in my life? Do I “act out” in any way, hurt because God didn’t DO what I thought HE should have DONE, WHEN I thought HE should have done it? Does my belief in Him remain the same? Am I still willing to trust Him the same. Do I pray, read, study and fast (consecrate) like I should (as I was during or before God seemed to start to work). Do I do the known will of God with as much fervor and zeal as before?

Or am I “acting out”. I won’t stay as consecrated as I was because it just doesn’t seem to do any good. Or I won’t stay as committed and faithful as I was to the work of the Lord, because it doesn’t seem to be paying off.

God is still asking the question, “Lovest thou me more than these my child, what will you answer be?” (for real?) “I love thee more, I love thee more than ALL of these, I love thee more, I love thee more, more than these.” OR is it “I love my free time, my ways, my actions, I love my opinion, my lukewarmness, my attitudes more than you, I love them more, I love them more…more than You.”

I guess in all this I am saying that God is going to keep us in a test until HE sees all blemishes are out of us. All “acting out” is gone and we are able and willing to TRULY submit to his will. Say “Amen” and keep on going, believing, though not fully understanding WHY, but wholly trusting in His perfect plan for my life.

Life!

I saw I needed to update so that is what I am going to do.

it has been a busy past couple of weeks. It started at Sis. Webber's 50th birthday celebration, then we went to Lezlie's wedding, visited the Freedom Center in Cincinnati, and the saints in Cleveland, OH. The 4th was nice, played volleyball at Mare's house. Kelia and Quientin had their trunk party. Last weekend was Sis. Jones' homegoing service. It was a sad/happy occasion.

I don't have much more to say...it is late.

Life & Mother's Day

What would a man give in exchange for his soul? - Job (i think)

So I haven't updated in a very long time. Much has happened since my last post and they are good things!!! I am very thankful for God's faithfulness to me! God has blessed me to be on the "other side" of a very extreme test of my faith and I am truly thankful for the V-I-C-T-O-R-Y! GLORY BE TO GOD!

We have revival next weekend and am glad about it. I hope the weather stays nice, we have been having nice (hot) weather recently (with the exception of today - it only is getting up to 60 deg). I am GLAD summer is (almost) here, I may not get to experience it like when I was a child (no school, etc) but I love the weather!

I had a nice Mother's Day. I am truly thankful for my mother, I notice that as I get older I appreciate her more and more! I love you MOM!! After church, we went to a nice vegetarian restaurant. We hadn't been there before and they had very good vegan food!! My parents had gone to Karyn's Raw food restaurant before but not to her cooked. When we go to a vegetarian restaurant (once every couple of years - we are not a big restaurant family) we usually go to Blind Faith Cafe-which is not vegan. So this was a nice change. I had a "jerk" tofu sandwich and a salad (of course!). We then went to visit my grandma, she was visiting with my uncle, so we ended up going to my uncle's house. They had just completed a MAJOR remodeling job on their house. We saw the pictures before, what a change! We all missed my sister though...she had a nice day in AZ.

LIFE

Life has been good, I cannot complain. I have been busy, I went to AR revival (Pastor was preaching) it was GREAT! We stayed with saints in Forrest City and had a WONDERFUL TIME! We came back and had our own revival here in Joliet with Pastor Troy Jones from Florida. It was a AWSOME Revival! God really meet me at both revivals! God has really been blessing my soul and I am greatly encouraged to serve God!

I have so much, so much, to thank God, thank God for.
I have so much, so much, to thank God for,
He's making ways for me, He gives me victory,
He open's doors for me that I'm unable to see,
So much to thank God for.

I was thinking last week how much I really have to be thankful for. People who are not saved go through so much pain, heartache and trouble because of their sin. Their "bad days" are so much far worse than my "bad days". I am truly thankful for salvation, sactification, the saints, God's promises and His Word.

I have also been thinking lately about the promises of God, that firm foundation we can stand on in those times when it seems hard to trust God. I've got to stand on the promises of God. It is the firm foundation that gets us through difficult times in life. Check out page p. 323 - How Firm A Foundation and p. 327? - Standing on the Promises in the COG Hymnal

Here is a verse of HOW FIRM A FOUNDATION -
How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said,
You, who unto Jesus for refuge have fled?

And a verse of STANDING ON THE PROMISES -
Standing on the promises that cannot fail,
When the howling storms of doubt and fear assail,
By the living Word of God I shall prevail,
Standing on the promises of God.

I should get up pictures later of our February event...finally got them from my Dad's camera. But I have a busy weekend, some of the YP are going to Bloomington to see the Passion Play. I am excited!!