Roller Coaster

Wow!! It's been two years since I've posted on this blog! Facebook has truly taken over this space! Well...sadly and happily not much has changed in my life. Still have the same job, same car, same friends, etc. I did move!! :)

Well I had a great experience that could only be related on an outlet like a blog, so I decided to update and might do more in the future! A few weeks ago I went to Six Flags with some friends. We had an awesome time!! I mean a REALLLY awesome time!!! :) It was my BEST experience yet to that amusement park! For real!! :) We all rode each ride together...we did the whole day together.

As the day was ending we wanted to get in the last few hours of fun!! :) Some of those with us wanted to get on the Raging Bull. I did NOT want to get on the Raging Bull! Years ago, after riding when it first opened, I purposed never to ride it again!! Now, I am not really a scary type person, I like fun and adventure. I LOVE the Giant Drop ride (this is the one that drops your from 200 feet in the air at a free fall). I want to go sky diving one day soon. I am usually up for any excitement. But...not the Raging Bull. Now my excuse was that it didn't have a harness, it just had a lap restraint, and for me, THAT was NOT good enough!! Not good enough for that first steep drop (202 feet)...no sirre bob!! LOL!!

Well, in favor of the group, being the team player I am, I, yes I, gave into the peer pressure and agreed to ride the ride. I made my decision and when we got to the ride, the line was REALLY long, so the group decided to go on another ride. Ha, I was relieved!! I agreed and it worked out we won't ride it...fine with me! After we finished the other ride, it was decided that we stick with the wait and ride the horrendous RAGING BULL!! Well, I had given my word and I was going to keep it. All through the line, I was gearing up my mind for the impending horror. I was in the line, I had given my word, I was going to ride this ride. I focused on the end of the ride, the ending corral, I mean, it was only 2-3 minutes. No one had ever died on the ride yet...I mean, really! I kept my mind on the "afterward" the promise of food, the drive home, the work I had to complete when I got home, the next day, etc. I was quiet most of the line wait...ha!!

Well, our turn came. I was to ride with two others in our group, Dana and Nick. I wanted to get it over with so we ended up in a different coaster train than our remaining three friends. Dana was almost as scary as me about this ride, but somehow, she had gained some courage and agreed with Nick to ride the ride with *[horrific gasp]* their eyes open and their hands up!! I calmly reminded them that I was just gonna make it through the ride & not holding on with my eyes open were NOT an option. Ha!

So we started our assent up the coaster. I felt us getting higher and higher, I knew the drop would be soon, but I didn't want to see it coming. I knew I was going to have to face it but didn't want my horrific anticipation building. I listened as Dana made sounds of concern the closer we got to the top of our assent. I knew the drop was near. It came, we dropped. Somewhere in the middle of the drop I let myself feel the excitement of it all (with my eyes still closed and still holding on for dear life, mind you). I let myself feel the fall, the feeling like we were letting gravity take its toll, never to be recovered. As we were falling, something reminded me, the fall would soon be over; it would not be to my demise. And...do you know what?!! We did recover!! The ride continued with its twists and turns, ups and downs, sideways and drops. Somewhere along the way, I opened my eyes and let go, just for a little bit. :) I saw the next drop approaching and again held on for dear life and closed my eyes, for good measure. By the end of the ride I had my eyes open and my hands in the air. I was sooo inspired by that ride...uhhh yeah, it was from the adrenalin rush at first...but I got my part!! I was SOO GLAD I let me friends talk me into getting on that ride! LOL! I got a spiritual connotation from it...let me share.

I feel like that's the way it is with God. After a "failed" experience or from fear to even try in the first place, WE rule out things God is asking us to do. We feel that WE are not adequate enough to fulfill His will. (Just like I didn't think the safety constraints were sufficient) We are afraid of the failure, afraid to try again, afraid to take the step of faith. But all God wants us to do is listen to Him and take that first step of faith. Just agree to do it (submit my will), just get in the line (take that step of faith). There always is a period of preparation, during that time, thoughts of doubt will come, How will it turn out? Will I fail again? Will I succeed? Will I survive? Will it be worth it? Just look to the other side of obedience, blessings manifold!! You've committed to God, He will bring you through.

Eventually we will get to the end part of fulfilling God's purpose. Remember, God does not lie, He is tried and proven. We WILL come out alive (spiritually), His promises never fail! No one has ever lost obeying God! There will be ups (major good times, times of happiness, job and gladness), there will be downs (times of confusion, pain and suffering) - but not to the point of death (spiritually), we will recover!! I can choose to fully enjoy the ride or I can count down the seconds until it's over, either way, I'll come out alive. God's got me! Am I too afraid to enjoy the ride? How about the curves, twists and turns? Do I focus so much on the end that I don't enjoy the NOW? The route has been tried and proven. God won't let me lose. The proper safety constraints are in place (The Word, Holy Spirit, Godly counsel), and I have no need to fear.

  The sad thing is that I would've MISSED such a GREAT experience had I decided NOT to get on the ride. I might've lived the next 10-20-30 years of my life reminding myself of the one time I got on the ride and didn't like it (failed). That one bad experience.  Now, I've gotten over that fear, now I want to get on the ride again and maybe even the first row, with my eyes open and my hands up!! LOL!

Lord, please help me not to miss out one the plans you have for me because of past failures, past fears or past negative associations with things, people or situations. Lord, help me to obey You with an un-harnessed abandonment - knowing that, if You are leading me to do it, You've got my best interest at heart. God's Got IT!! - Excerpts taken from my personal journal - Aug 6, 2012

Jer. 29:11 - For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. - KJV

I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. - The Message

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. - NLT

For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome. - Amplified

Perception - Think About it...

True Story

A man at a metro station in Washington started to play violin;

He played for about 45 minutes.

During that time, thousands of people went by.

A man stopped for a while and moved on.

The violinist received his first dollar tip:

A woman threw coins and walked away.

The most attention was paid by a 3 year old boy.

His mother pushed hard and the boy had to walk away.

This was repeated by several other children.

In the 45 minutes only 6 people stopped .

He collected $32. When he finished , no one noticed .

No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew that the violinist was Joshua Bell, the best violinist in the
world.

He played with a violin worth $ 3.5 million .

Two days before , Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston and the seats
average $100.

He got a standing ovation.

Joshua Bell playing incognito was organized by Washington Post as part of
an experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people.

Conclusions from this experience was:
If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians
in the world, how many other things are we missing?

Promise 222

I call this "Promise 222" because I feel like God just spoke to me through this scripture...I have added what I felt about this passage and then added the verses.

I will have to say that this is my scripture for 2008...or maybe it is a reminder for 2009...

II Samuel 22

God has delivered me from MY enemies, HE is MY rock, shield, salvation, high tower, refuge, MY SAVIOR, HE saves me from harm (spiritually and naturally) I will call on God in my trouble and I WILL BE (HAVE BEEN) saved from my enemies. I've got to praise Him!!

And David spake unto the LORD the words of this song in the day that the LORD had delivered him out of the hand of all his enemies, and out of the hand of Saul:

2And he said, The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer;

3The God of my rock; in him will I trust: he is my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower, and my refuge, my saviour; thou savest me from violence.

4I will call on the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies.

During this year, when I felt enveloped by so many different things, when difficulties came my way, when I felt I could go no further, I called upon GOD!! HE was right there!! He made changes, he swept down and delivered me, he stopped the powers of the devil, he made a way, he Helped me!! He did WHATEVER it took to stop the powers of hell from swallowing me up! PRAISE GOD!!

5When the waves of death compassed me, the floods of ungodly men made me afraid;

6The sorrows of hell compassed me about; the snares of death prevented me;

7In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried to my God: and he did hear my voice out of his temple, and my cry did enter into his ears.

PRAISE GOD!! GLORY BE TO GOD!!!--- Look what he does!!

8Then the earth shook and trembled; the foundations of heaven moved and shook, because he was wroth.

9There went up a smoke out of his nostrils, and fire out of his mouth devoured: coals were kindled by it.

10He bowed the heavens also, and came down; and darkness was under his feet.

11And he rode upon a cherub, and did fly: and he was seen upon the wings of the wind.

12And he made darkness pavilions round about him, dark waters, and thick clouds of the skies.

13Through the brightness before him were coals of fire kindled.

14The LORD thundered from heaven, and the most High uttered his voice.

15And he sent out arrows, and scattered them; lightning, and discomfited them.

16And the channels of the sea appeared, the foundations of the world were discovered, at the rebuking of the LORD, at the blast of the breath of his nostrils.

17He sent from above, he took me; he drew me out of many waters;

18He delivered me from my strong enemy, and from them that hated me: for they were too strong for me.

19They prevented me in the day of my calamity: but the LORD was my stay.

My God has delivered me in the midst of a "for my good" year (thanks Jackie - Rom 8:28)...He has changed me, helped me grow, established me through this year!

20He brought me forth also into a large place: he delivered me, because he delighted in me.

21The LORD rewarded me according to my righteousness: according to the cleanness of my hands hath he recompensed me.

22For I have kept the ways of the LORD, and have not wickedly departed from my God.

23For all his judgments were before me: and as for his statutes, I did not depart from them.

24I was also upright before him, and have kept myself from mine iniquity.

25 Therefore the LORD hath recompensed me according to my righteousness; according to my cleanness in his eye sight.

26With the merciful thou wilt shew thyself merciful, and with the upright man thou wilt shew thyself upright.

27With the pure thou wilt shew thyself pure; and with the froward thou wilt shew thyself unsavoury.

28And the afflicted people thou wilt save: but thine eyes are upon the haughty, that thou mayest bring them down.

29For thou art my lamp, O LORD: and the LORD will lighten my darkness.

30 For by thee I have run through a troop: by my God have I leaped over a wall.

31As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all them that trust in him.
32For who is God, save the LORD? and who is a rock, save our God?

33God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect.

34He maketh my feet like hinds' feet: and setteth me upon my high places.

35He teacheth my hands to war; so that a bow of steel is broken by mine arms.

36Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation: and thy gentleness hath made me great.

37Thou hast enlarged my steps under me; so that my feet did not slip.

38I have pursued mine enemies, and destroyed them; and turned not again until I had consumed them.

39And I have consumed them, and wounded them, that they could not arise: yea, they are fallen under my feet.

40For thou hast girded me with strength to battle: them that rose up against me hast thou subdued under me.
41Thou hast also given me the necks of mine enemies, that I might destroy them that hate me.

42They looked, but there was none to save; even unto the LORD, but he answered them not.

43Then did I beat them as small as the dust of the earth, I did stamp them as the mire of the street, and did spread them abroad.

44Thou also hast delivered me from the strivings of my people, thou hast kept me to be head of the heathen: a people which I knew not shall serve me.

45Strangers shall submit themselves unto me: as soon as they hear, they shall be obedient unto me.

46Strangers shall fade away, and they shall be afraid out of their close places.

47The LORD liveth; and blessed be my rock; and exalted be the God of the rock of my salvation.

48It is God that avengeth me, and that bringeth down the people under me.

49And that bringeth me forth from mine enemies: thou also hast lifted me up on high above them that rose up against me: thou hast delivered me from the violent man.

50Therefore I will give thanks unto thee, O LORD, among the heathen, and I will sing praises unto thy name.

51He is the tower of salvation for his king: and sheweth mercy to his anointed, unto David, and to his seed for evermore.

PRAISE GOD!! HE is truly our God!

Zech 13:9 - He will be our God and we will be His people!! Isn't that awesome!! Think about it! WOW!!

I am living the best years of my life

God, I believe, blessed me with that thought on Sunday. I am truly living THE BEST years of my life. Is everything just perfect, is everything EXACTLY the way I want it, is my life where I thought it would be? NO. But I know I am living the best years of my life, right now. I am learning to live in and love the present; life is each day that we live, it is today, not ten years ago or five years in the future. Life is what is happening to me now, not what I am hoping for in the next five or ten years. Life is definitely what I make it, if I don’t like it, I need to make some changes. They might not happen over night, and there are some things we cannot control, but if, at the least, I can always change my attitude toward my life, it will be better. That is one main lesson I have learned THIS year. I can be “livin’ the best of life” or I can live in regret, every day of my life, for the rest of my life.

One of the best changes I made with my life was to give it to the One who has it all in control, the One who loves me (so much) and is concerned about where I am headed. The One who sacrificed HIS LIFE, so I could REALLY live and enjoy mine! (John 10:10) A change into Jesus Christ, that is making a change for the best. I’ve learned a lot with Him and we have been through some rough times, but it has been all good and I love Him a whole lot more than I did ten years ago.

So on my 28th birthday, I know I am in the best years of my life despite:
o Bad decisions I have made in my past
o Situations I wish I could do over
o My current circumstances that I wished I could’ve changed yesterday
o Some painful mistakes and choices
o The dreams and goals for my life that have yet to be fulfilled
o Opportunities lost
o Experiences gained

I have some great things going on in my life:
o Immediate (my mom, dad and sis) and extended family that love me and want what is best for me (even though we may not spend time with each other, as often as we would like)
o A really awesome group of friends that inspire and encourage me to do well and please God (love ya’ll!)
o A church community and fellowship (they are doing some great things and I love to be around them!)
o A job (it pays my bills (needs) – and some of my wants…PTL) my boss and the people are great!! (For my b-day somebody (I think my boss – or hers – still don’t know who) got cupcakes for me and everyone signed a card…they don’t normally do that…I am so thankful!!)
o A reliable car (ahh…the freedom)
o Strength for today (to do what I need to do)
o Hope for tomorrow (I’ve got some exciting plans for my life -- LW!)
o Clothes and food (oh yeah…LOL!!)
o A desire to please God in every aspect of my life and power to live free from sin, everyday (only by the grace of God…)
o Opportunity to be around young people (teens) who challenge and help me fulfill God’s plan for my life (you ALL are just GREAT, I love you all - thanks!)

LW, I hope to continue to keep this mindset, and five years from now, will still be able to say – “I’m living the best years of my life.”

Where We're Going...

-----NOVEMBER 4, 2008-----
I, along with some of my friends, went downtown Chicago to participate in the election rally for President Elect Barack Obama. I was excited beyond measure.

Earlier that day, I, like many fellow Americans, prayerfully cast my vote on whom I thought would be best. I, like I have done for the past nine years, made my most educated decision, basing my decision on many issues that affect the community and social circles I interact with. Like, as with the two presidential elections prior, I voted for the democratic candidate, as I feel that the democratic party candidate is the best for this position.

For the other offices listed on my ballot, I made choices that I thought were best based on the knowledge I had of the candidates and the issues that are within their control: some for the green party, some for the independent party, and yes, I even voted for one in the republican party. I have heard people make comments throughout this election year that implies or outright states, that many black people voted for Barack Obama solely because he was black. That idea would have NEVER even crossed my mind. I feel that the idea that I would vote for anyone solely on the basis of their color is demeaning to my intelligence.

The fact that the democratic candidate was a black man gave me much pride and inspiration. Being only 40-50 years out of the blatant racism (believe me, there is underline racism that is still strong...) exhibited in many parts of our country towards blacks in America, I knew that if he won, this would be history. It was something we've always talked about, but I guess I never believed it would happen...not now, not while I was still young!

As the hours wore on and we listened to the states that Obama or McCain had won our anticipation grew...what would be the outcome? As I looked at those fellow Election rally attendees, I saw many people (and talked to some, or overheard their conversations): A mother with her young daughter, a father with his daughter on his shoulders, a group of college age students, a young couple, a family, people who just came from work, others from out of state. The diversity was awesome! White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, Middle Eastern, young and old all wanting and waiting for a change. It seemed like it happened so quick...one minute we were looking at the electoral votes climbing and hearing cheers or boos as the states were being estimated, the next..the decision had been made.

I was standing with Jackie, Clare, Trese, we were in a place where it was difficult to see the screen. (Though we were in the next section by the VIP area (where Mr. Obama said his speech), we were in the back and they had a VERY large screen set up for us to see CNN.) I would randomly stand on my tip toes to see the screen when the crowd would let us know something was happening (cheers, boos, countdown...) I will NEVER forget, I looked at the screen (after hearing the crowd countdown) and it said "BARACK OBAMA ELECTED PRESIDENT" I screamed and jumped up and down, and kept doing it. Earlier that day, I thought I was going to cry at that moment...but I couldn't I was too happy, too stunned, too excited, too overwhelmed! I just kept screaming and jumping up and down, hugging those around me and screaming some more!!

(I found this video on YouTube that will help you feel the emotions that I felt at that moment (no one in our group was recording at the moment), I was farther back then where the person captured this at - only way to tell was by the large flags that were scattered among the crowd - at that time we were to the right of the the 2nd or 3rd flag - but the atmosphere was the same throughout!)

I was so happy. Never more happy, proud and glad to be an American citizen, to be a BLACK American citizen! Yes, never before in MY life did I feel the feelings that I felt that night. Here I was, a part of the "young generation", those who had not seen the blatant racism (being called nigger - though I have been called that before, not being able to vote, not being able to eat at certain restaurants, not using certain water fountains, restricted from certain schools and the list could go on.), those who yet have a hope for cultures and ethnicities to be able get along and intermingle with each other and yet still be proud of their original racial heritage. Not letting race be a sole factor of our decisions and moving toward a better society.

I understood that what had just happened around me was the first step in good and better things for race in America. Do I believe that since Obama is in office that things will change overnight for America? No, but I understand for America to make their choice clear (VERY CLEAR - Electoral votes: 364 - OBAMA and 163 - McCAIN), it wasn't just Black people that voted Obama in office. It wasn't just White people, it was many different people together, with the same desire in mind: CHANGE. Change to work together to make things better for ourselves and others, working together to help our fellow Americans, not being selfish about what and where I have gotten, have a heart of love towards those less fortunate. I understand that many people's sweat, tears and blood made the trail for Obama to get where he is today. I understand where people have come from (slavery, jim crow era, underline racism), and I see and understand where we are going... The end of that song (Where We're Going) says: "I give thanks to GOD because I know where I'm going and I know where I've been!"

The night was beautiful, November had not been that warm for over 60 years (if I recall correctly)! The people were peaceful, there were NO incidents that night of misbehavior (Yes, NO incidents, even with ALL those people).

Martin Luther King's speech, "I Have a Dream" hangs above my bed and I see it every day. SIDEBAR: President elect Barack Obama will be sworn in January 20, 2009, five days after MLK 80th birthday! As I read the speech, these words stick out to me:

Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. (2008 is another beginning)
So even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have cried since Tuesday, happy to see this moment in time...glad that United States of America has come to THIS point. Knowing what it has taken to get here and knowing that more sweat, blood and tears will be needed to keep on going. Our young black young people can believe in their dreams and know they can get where they want with God's help. Check this out...

Wednesday night we had a prayer service for our new president elect, his family and our country. Continuing in our obedience to the scriptures "to pray for them in authority that we may lead a peaceful life."

I Timothy 2:1-3
I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour;

May we all continue to do this...

PRESIDENT ELECT

Isn't this ABSOLUTELY beautiful!! I LOVE IT!! WOW...I feel like I am in a dream...who would have thought I would have seen THIS day!! I LOVE IT!!

Lets continue to keep the family in our prayers...

In the midst of my storm...

I have been through the storm for the last 13 months like I have never been in before but what has kept me is my love for my Savior, my Lord, my Jesus. The song that has just been staying my heart has been "I LOVE HIM TOO MUCH TO FAIL HIM NOW" One of the verses says

The years have brought me closer and my love for Christ has grown, each step has brought me nearer to my eternal home, you see I'm too close to heaven to turn back now, His grace will be sufficient I've got to make it I vow. (CHORUS) I love Him too much, to fail him now, too much to break my vow, for I promised the Lord that I would make that last mile, and now I love Him too much to fail Him now.

In the midst of my storm God has been so faithful to prove His love for me. There are times, very unusually times, I will just feel the overwhelming love of my savior. It is awesome...today a brother was sharing the scripture in Romans 8:35-37 where Paul talks about what shall separate us from the love of Christ...

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

the last verse says...in ALL these things we ARE more than CONQUERORS through HIM THAT LOVED US...I just felt the love of God...we are only conquerors through Him that LOVES US!! Because HE LOVES ME, I AM MORE than a CONQUEROR!!

Over the summer I was expressing to some sisters how God has just been showing to me, proving to me, just how much He loves me. There is this song titled..."That's Why I Love Him Like I Do" some of the words say...

God saved me from myself when no one else was around, and it was only by His grace, His mercy, His favor cause I know I don't deserve all the love He shows, how He lets me know, He's never going to leave my side...that's why I love Him like I do...somebody told me we overcome by our testimony, but I remember how doubt and fear used to paralyze me, but God's hand brought me through a test and He brought out the very best, and now I'll never forget to tell the whole world what You mean to me...that is why I love Him like I do...

I like this other song..."I Don't Mind" it says...(this is God talking to me)

What can I do, to make you smile again, how can I prove that I've got your best interest at hand, my love for you is more than anything you'll ever know, so if you need me to show, you say it, cause I don't mind...I'll do anything but let you down, can I get a little credit, if you need me to show, say it, I don't mind...question is, where is your faith, haven't I proven myself before, and if the window is closed won't I open the door, cause my love for you is more than anything you'll ever know, so if you need me to show, say it, cause I don't mind.

this song makes me think of Jer. 29:11 - For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Another song has been "I'm in Love with Jesus"...growing up in the COG I would hear saints saying this...I would be skeptical...but going through the midst of my storm of Jesus I am really understanding what it really means to be In Love with Jesus. I love Him so much!! When I feel the overwhelming love of God just flood my heart I just start to cry, so happy to have this type of personal experience with God. He has brought me through many of hard battles, times when I didn't even think I would be able to hold on, times when my faith was weak, times when He just showed Himself strong...I just am so thankful, he showed mercy on me almost 11 years of truly being saved. I am so thankful that even before that, he showed so much mercy on me, He has just proved his love time and time again. Down through the 11 years of my salvation, I have been through some very hard situation, situations where I, of my own self, would have turned back on God, but it has been HIS love that has kept me, in the midst of the storms...it has been HIS faithfulness, HIS kindness, HIS mercy, HIS love, His power that has kept me, that has carried me. I am so undeserving of the love He has shown me, but He has shown it anyhow.

Every time I think about you.
Every time I read about you.
Every time I hear your name I start to smile.
Every time the sun starts shinning.
Every time the wind starts blowing.
Every time I feel your anointing I start to smile.
Let me take the time to say I love you.
Let me take the time to say I care.

I love you Lord
I'm in love with Jesus and He's in Love with me!

I am just sitting here in wonder, in awe of my Jesus, my Lord, my life!

My manner of life from my youth - Acts 26:4
The Lord perserveth all them that love Him - Ps. 145:20
We love Him, because He first loved us - I John 4:19

Yes We Can!!

I just would like to share this...

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

*no negative comments please*